How I Came to Be an Intense Woman at Work - Cubicle Chic

How I Came to Be an Intense Woman at Work - Cubicle Chic How I Came to Be an Intense Woman at Work Career, Corporate Life, Development August 25, 2016 0 Comments  Dress: Kit And Ace; similar here Vest: Boutique; similar here Mules: Asos; similar hereExperiences in the past have indicated something about my personality, and it’s that I may have a more serious demeanor, especially at work. I even had one person that told it to me directly, that I am an intense person to work with sometimes. Having been an outspoken person my whole life, I’ve taken comments like that as a compliment. That sentiment changed slightly in a recent incident. I had a 1:1 teleconference with someone I was trying to make a really strong impression with, and in the teleconference the video capacity was enabled. For the first time, I was watching myself as I spoke, in a way that I thought exuded confidence. I was mentally gasping at the image of myself on screen â€" I looked SO serious and definitely intense!  Dress: Kit And Ace;  similar here Vest: Boutique; similar  here Mules: Asos; similar here   Dress : Kit And Ace;  similar here Vest: Boutique; similar  here Mules: Asos; similar hereNeedless to say, there is a bit of a gap that exists between the internal visualization of myself and, when I get the chance to get a glimpse of, the way the world actually perceives me. It’s uncomfortable to face this realization, and quite honestly, a bit unsettling.Working in Corporate America for half a decade has taught me a thing or two. Number 1, 2, and 3 are as follows: Your image is everything, your image is everything, and your image is everything. Yes, in case I didn’t make it clear, your image is everything. For me, the ideal image consists of the following adjectives: strategic, conscientious, and poised. The challenge, though, is that I am human and made of flesh. So while I can be strategic, conscientious, and poised, I am also passionate and dogged, and I really do care. So at times I have to be dial up certain qualities, in order to balance out the way I carry myself. As a result , I deliberately try to behave more assured, authoritative, and firm. This is reflected in the following ways:  I am very conscious of something a lot of women fall victim of, something called “Uptalk” â€" where you raise the end of your sentence with an upward inflection to make it sound more like a question/suggestion, rather than a statement or a demand. (It’s a thing, officially called High Rising Terminal, look it up!) I do everything in my power to avoid it.I pay attention to body language. Twirling the hair, sitting in the back of the room, crossing my arms, or sitting in a “minimizing” posture (including slouching, looking down, folding your arms) all indicate the lack of confidence. I do the opposite â€" I sit in the front, sit back and try to relax, make direct eye contact, and speak up toward the front of the room.I keep small talks to the minimum. I have a select group of people that I would consider friends at work, and outside of this circle, I don’t engage in small talks too often. I prioritize being professional and effective over being someone’s pal to chat about the weekend with.When the circumstances are so that I have to pick between making progress and keeping the peace or that “good feeling” environment, I usually default to the former. There are good ways, tactful ways, to create a win-win situation and achieve both, it’s true. But when deadlines are real and decisions need to be made, something’s gotta give. For me, making progress usually wins out.  Dress: Kit And Ace;  similar here Vest: Boutique; similar  here Mules: Asos; similar hereSo maybe, just maybe, in the process of upholding that image as a professional woman, I lost touch with the core of my being â€" the warm, open, caring, and easy-going side of me.Or maybe, just maybe, in the corporate world, room for an individual to exhibit these characteristics is just limited.Or maybe, just maybe, could it be because I am a woman, therefore the trade-off exists? I would definitely be re-visiting this topic soon. What are your thoughts so far?All photography by Natalie Alvarado (Stylenfuse)